Once l laid my late husband to rest the reality of his loss hit me.The busyness of arranging the funeral took my mind off things.What do l do with self? Where do l start planning my life and future?
The first thing you have to do is take each day as one step at a time.I had to ensure l had time to my self .So l enquired about how much time l was entitled to be off work and applied for time off.This enabled me to wake up each morning and walk for 1 hour.
During these alone times l set out a plan for my future goals – simple, practical and realistic ones.One thing l was certain of was l did not want to spend the rest of my life alone.I prayed constantly for my future to be secure in God’s hands and I gained clarity on time scales of milestones l wanted to achieved.
My first priority was to contact my children’s schools and get the emotional support they will need at least in the first year.I also contacted local charities that offered bereavement support for children etc
The next thing is your finances.If you are in debt it’s best to contact immediately free agencies that will negotiate with your creditors.You need to set a written budget of your Income and expenditure.You know exactly what you can and can’t afford.Get free advice on money you might be entitled to when widowed.This is crucial to do within
3 months of loss.This will ease the emotional pressure financial problems can create.
If you have older children over 18 encourage them to help and support you in the above.Though grieving as well it distracts them momentarily too from present loss.
Get friends and family to help with collating paper work.Find out also if you have life insurances or other etc
At this time it is important to get enough rest and good night sleep.Loss makes us exhausted and emotionally drained.Talking openly to family and friends regularly on how you are feeling is very important.
When people came to visit me especially in the early months l used to thrive on talking and singing worship joyful songs.
Bereavement counselling will be an important service to explore – known to be more effective a year after your loss.
You should not make any life changing decisions in the first year of your loss.
Signing off now – remember there is hope after loss.Feel free to ask questions or make comments.
Please share if this has encouraged you!