In our loss it is so easy to get stuck in the depth of sorrow and different waves of emotion that typify Grief. However to avoid being stuck in this time space,
after a year l began to write my expectations for the future.That is reviewing what was not perfect in my past and decide on fine tuning my future.
You can decide to remain single or not in the future it is a choice you can rightly make.
If not what would you like your new spouse to be like – writing the personal qualities that a man can bring into your life to add and build you up,and complement what you have.Plus vice versa. (My reference is marriage between a man and woman).
You write down spiritual qualities you want in the individual’s personality.For example integrity,confidence,self control, not self seeking,patient,generous, focused for the future and career destination.
You can divide your written plans of expectations into different categories that are important to you.For example – spiritual and physical qualities etc.
Then perhaps take a closer look at yourself and write down what you would like to improve in your attributes.
For example managing your finances better,being a better organiser of time,improve your professional skills,or more self disciplined.
A written plan gives specific focus and goals to achieve for yourself/ family.Each day choose which one to work on.Try to be consistent at refining that quality daily.Perhaps practice on a friend or Mentor?
You measure change by the milestones you achieve – your reaction to a specific event last month might be different on how you will react today.E.g perhaps you are not as sensitive or you are more courageous to speak up when you do not agree with another person’s point of view.
You even start to sense other peoples positive comments or observations.Each day you are one step closer to your goal.
It is important to take time out quietly to meditate on where you are emotionally and review your written plan intermittently.You should set one month goals,3months,6months and 1year goals – review what you have achieved.I believe this takes you closer to being emotionally open to change.
Your expectation starts to become closer in sight- your optimism becomes higher and so do your energy levels.You become more open to engaging in social interactions and going to new places. Do try to enjoy each day you have!
Signing off now,there is Hope after loss