Forming New Relationships

SILENCE

SILENCE WHEN THE BELOVED IS ABSENT!

Silence is more pronounced when a loved one is absent. Loving again does not make us immune from the silence we feel when a loved one is absent. As long as we live an imperfect world couples will always have squabbles that test and challenge emotions. These come from the fact that two people meet, love yet have different personal experiences, backgrounds but hope to merge with similar core values.

However, there can lurk in the shadows fear and uncertainty of not making the right decision. love and commitment second time around are lovely, rewarding, refreshing but one that has to be intentionally nurtured.

 It requires a lot of investing of time, building, reassuring, understanding, listening, learning from each other and working towards having one vision for the future.

The Prayer is that what we fear most shall not come upon us. Job 3:25(ESV)

What an ungenerated spirit tries to impress is that failure or loss could raise its ugly head again. But through biblical confessions to self and meditation we renew our minds and combat such evil whispers.

It is also about patience and healing wounds that have to close completely. There is a constant and quiet voice reminding us not to repeat mistakes of our past but refine our future with what has been learnt from the past.

We are not to remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.

Behold I am doing a new thing: now it springs forth do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. ‘Isaiah 43:18-19 (ESV)

The latter can be more pronounced second time around. Redefining a better future with a legacy for generations becomes very important. However, one has to maintain a healthy balance which is enjoying the love and companionship plus plan for that future without sorrow as a couple.

But pass losses come with certain challenges such as starting again from scratch, rebuilding and full proofing the future. You start from fresh but you are more experienced and are more aware of the potential pitfalls. You guard it and appreciate every moment of time.

So, when love is absent due to a squabble after facing loss it brings back the silence and quiet like when love was previously loss. The vacuum is visible and you feel it again.

Yet you hesitate initially not making the first step of reconciliation if the squabble was the others fault. But then after experiencing loss you realise every moment is precious and it is best to be at peace with all men. Perhaps later arrange to discuss the root of the misunderstanding.

Yet we are reminded in scripture that love covers a multitude of sins.

Proverbs 10:12(ESV). To be forgiven in love we have to forgive others with love. In spite of all our slip ups and mistakes the lord is always open to receive us in repentance.

The Silence was felt more on Father’s Day 21st June, everywhere in England today is acknowledging this day, so many without husbands or partners feel the vacuum more. But what do you do to fill it? Celebrate your Dad or another male Mentor in your children’s life’s?

Or celebrate the legacy you have in your children who are products of a past relationship once cherished. Happy belated Father’s Day!  

‘The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps’ Proverbs 16:9 (ESV). May your Joy always be full. Always remember there is Hope after loss.